• Our hope-filled future is bound up in sharing the story of Jesus, in discipling others, in bringing those disciples together into communities of believers, and in developing and releasing those believers to create other communities... till Jesus the King comes again!

Getting In Touch With My Inner Brat

Thanks to Laura for today’s post on A Praying Life:

It did me good to re-read (for the third time, ha) chapter 18.  Mr. Miller ends this section, “Learning to Ask Your Father”, with this lovely line at the bottom of page 161:

“We can’t pray effectively until we get in touch with our inner brat.  When we see our own self-will, it opens the door to doing things through God.”

 And earlier on page 157, he states;

 “The great struggle in my life is not trying to discern God’s will: it is trying to discern and then disown my own.”

 Thanks Mr. Miller, you’ve done it again, you’ve managed to nail me to the wall with your honesty about the role of self-honesty in abiding.

This week, I realize that I am touch irritated with my husband (gasp). I am sure no one can relate, but there I am.  I spoke about this with a friend trying to put a good spiritual face on it by making it clear I knew my husband was not the problem and that I didn’t want to pull away from him emotionally.  She wisely suggested that I speak to him directly about it and get it out in the open so we could pray through it.  “Great idea”, I responded, “I’ll do that before it becomes a big deal”.  But later that day and the next I find that I don’t actually want to talk to him about it for the very reason this author mentions—I haven’t disowned my own will.  I see my own will (there are certain things I want) and I know it is wrong, and I am NOT so quick at disowning my self-will as I thought.

The women I disciple/coach tend to have difficulties discerning their own will as being over and above God’s.  They say, “Of course I want God’s will here,” when they really don’t.  Much of this is an issue of time, maturing and spiritual breaking (for these particular women).  We can’t disown what we don’t own up to in the first place. 

Then there is the actual letting go once we own up to our “brat”.  This is my battle. This is where God becomes God in my head and heart and I say, “Ok Lord, I give this up to you and I won’t demand it from someplace else”.

Reread chapter 18.  What is harder for you, to own up to your self-willed brat or to disown it?

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